I believe our souls choose the earthly experiences we’ll have in life before entering physical form. I almost picture it like a meeting with an advisor or guidance counselor before school starts. It’s like signing up for classes! ‘Yes, I think I’ll do death of a parent early in life, health challenges for 2 years or less, and not meeting my soulmate til 10 years after most of my friends, for my advanced course work. And for my electives, I’d like concerts, yoga, and a bon vivant lifestyle by the beach.’ Can you even imagine?!
These classes or experiences in life perfectly set our souls up to grow, evolving with each “class” we take.
This belief has helped me pull myself out of a victim mindset over the last 21 years.
In my human form, with fear and ego and the aversion to pain that we all have, there is no way I would have ever chosen to lose my dad at 17. He was the center of our family. Our rock. Our wise owl 🦉.
But through my own spiritual growth, I believe that on a soul level this was one of the classes I needed to take and the path that I chose.
This is a tool I use a lot in coaching, called reframing. Changing one thoughts, intentionally, to experience things differently. The notion behind reframing is that a person's point-of-view depends on the frame in which it is viewed. When the frame is shifted, the meaning changes and the thinking and behavior often change along with it.
So now, I choose to believe that I never actually lost him. He just changed forms. He’s with me all the time. As he always was.
This allows me to live in gratitude for the 17 years I had with him, the love he gave me, the lessons he taught me while he was here, the many laughs we had, and the lessons I learned as a result of his passing. This allows me to live a happy life, as opposed to a bitter life, feeling as if something sacred was taken from me.
I watched The Little Prince last night on Netflix in honor of him. The idea of him going to live in the stars and sending me messages from there resonates so profoundly.
It’s not full proof, as grief is not linear and sometimes a sad memory or painful thought sneaks up on me. But with this line of thinking, I’m no longer a victim to all of it. It’s simply where I am in my lesson plan.
My goal in sharing this is that I might inspire you to reframe something incredibly difficult or life-changing in your own life.
Where have you been playing the victim? What would it look like to reframe that experience?
This is not a one and done exercise, mind you. But with practice it supports healing and can become the way you think about your situation.
I hope this can help you with your “coursework” and that this serves you,